1. |
At the Station
05:46
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These are the words I couldn’t find
When you left me
At the station
You’ve let the apathy uproot
Your convictions
And aspirations
You gave up your inner fire
For the flare
of self-sedation
Oh, in a city of phantoms
No faces, no anthems
I had nothing to fight for
But god, you make me want to shake you
I’ll save you, I’ll save you
I’ll make you better
(That’s what I’ll tell myself)
Two lonesome eyes watched my descent
In a mural
At the station
I felt the platform in my knees
With a sullen
Reverberation
And the train pulled in
And I stepped aboard:
Assimilation
Oh, in a city of phantoms
No faces, no anthems
I had nothing to fight for
But god, you make me want to shake you
I’ll save you, I’ll save you
I’ll make you better
(That’s what I’ll tell myself)
Under the city it’s rolling, it’s rolling, it’s rolling in
(Were you ever there at all? Were you?)
Oh, in a city of phantoms
No faces, no anthems
There was nothing to fight for
But god, you make me want to shake you
I’ll save you, I’ll save you
I’ll make you better
(That’s what I’ll tell myself)
I keep a copy in my mind
Of your brighter
Incarnation
If you ever want it back
Come and find me
At the station, at the station
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2. |
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I’m not like the other
Addicts you may have met:
I know that I have a problem.
At least I can admit that.
Death is no motivation
I was young when I grew out of that
Fear of the ending
The centrifugal always comes back
But it’s easy to forget that
When you’re not staring down the barrel
Of a loaded gun
(x2)
So take all your God-fearing people,
Slaughter them all at once.
Let’s see how long it takes God
To undo what you have done.
You don’t get to choose
What it will be that kills you;
But you get to choose how you die:
With the sun on your back, or the light in your eyes.
But it’s easy to forget that
When you’re not staring down the barrel
Of a loaded gun
(x4)
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3. |
The Doorway Song
04:19
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Take my breath away,
Kiss my purple face
Song of pain inflames my throat
I’m thirsty for
a reason to sing
I won’t try your courts (won’t try, won’t)
I will not impeach
I’m no jester, but I suggest
That you lighten up
before we lose our way
And if we meet again
And the doorways are closed
I will not hold you back.
Take these empty pockets,
They’ve seen better change.
I know my skin isn’t worth the shit
that it’s printed on
but it’s all I can save.
And if we meet again
And the doorways are closed
I will not hold you back.
(You’re gonna make me say it, aren’t you?)
(Say it: aren’t you leaving?)
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4. |
Let's
03:48
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Let's go to the mountainside
Let's pick up a hairy eye
that's looking at us with such green in its spirit
looking and daring us kids to go near it
We do
Let's go to the mountains high
Let's pick up the hairy eye
and chase the boys with it
and threaten to throw it
they're angry and they're not afraid to show it
They do
and when heaven calls me I
pick up the phone but I’ve
nothing to say except
leave me alone
and when I am lonely
I pick up the phone and I
punch in their number
and just get a tone
we're not often let outside
we scratch at the door and cry
and when we are called we'll be there in a second
and when we're alone we're a force to be reckoned with—us.
When I whisper in your ear you sleep
when I tell you all my dreams you weep
when you look into my face you
suck all the life out of me
our parents have private lives
our peers whisper public lies
and when we go home
there's a table with flowers
and when we go home
they are counting the hours
till bed
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5. |
Landscape in Three Parts
05:00
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I’m not so good at describing
It’s been a long time since it’s happened
But trust me, I know it when I feel it
It happens to your whole damn body
It’s not as if it’s that hard to miss
And I know how to practice listening
So down the hill we go
Close your eyes and roll
No one has to know
We’ll leave it ‘til tomorrow
Convinced that you’ll stop bleeding
Just ‘cause you keep holding
Pressure to the wound,
Pressure to the wound
I’m bending over backwards
to touch the soft spot between your ribs
Floating in salty water
Close your eyes and mouth
Hold your breath, until your lungs burst
And flood, until you drown
Pull the wool
Your eyes are too pretty
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6. |
Foxtail Garden
04:44
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It’s cold out here
This time of year
I’m tired too
Let’s lay around this hidden noon
Go look around
Bring me what you’ve found
Burrs hooked on you
Make sure you pick them off your shoes
I want to feel your pain, they say
Refuse to see me harden
But I will lead them through the gray
Into the foxtail garden
This iron gate
Holds in my hate
This gravel path
Is too well-worn; you do the math
These barren rows
Reap what they sow
Seasons cycle through
Tell me what autumn means to you
You have to walk amid the waste
To be a witness, too
There is no way to see this place
Except for walking through
I’m tired, dear
I’ll lay right here
This fishhook bed
These velvet blankets are so red
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7. |
Pedestal
03:48
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I can’t fix your holes
If on your own you think you ain’t whole
No, I won’t fill you up
If all alone, you ain’t full
You made me your hero
But I don’t want to be
Pull this pedestal out from under me
You made me your hero
You know I tried to be
But turn your rose-tinted shades away from me
We learned the roles and cued the lights,
But the costumes didn’t fit us right
Whoever comes to play my part
Still won’t change who you are
You made me your hero
But I don’t want to be
Pull this pedestal out from under me
You made me your hero
You know I tried to be
But turn your rose-tinted shades away from me
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8. |
With our Hands
09:21
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Comin' through the fog I see myself
in the way your eyes dance around the subject.
Give me one bite of your time to say
how I keep the shadows in my hands at bay.
I know you’re afraid
but you hold your breath and suffocate
your smile my dear
complicated things
we can watch them burn until they sting
our eyes my dear
Though these times will try
to rain on your parade
no two are the same
our compassion may bring a burden
don’t bury it, celebrate
Shadows darkening
When the ceiling crumbles we can sing
of dawn so near
no we’re not alone
with our hands we’ll make a stronger home
away from fear
We will not consume
our humanity
for society
do you, do you feel like I do
then come away, leave this place
I know you’re afraid
but you hold your breath and suffocate
your smile my dear
complicated things
we can watch them burn until they sting
our eyes my dear
Shadows darkening
When the ceiling crumbles we can sing
of dawn so near
No we’re not alone
with our hands we’ll make a stronger home
away from fear
["Stronger Home" by Malcolm Gottesman]
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